"And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at Rudy's and talk about the day and type your letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don't listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and take pictures of you when you're sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and tell you about the the programme I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your arse your
and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want want you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really dont' want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you."

Sarah Kane, Crave

I don't know if I'm tired
and I don't know if I'm ill
My cheeks are turning yellow
I think I'll take another pill

Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the fifteenth time
I've been here for much too long
This is the past that's mine

I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in Australia
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in Australia
In Australia

Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the very last time
It's twelve o'clock till midnight
There must be someone to blame

I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in Australia
I want to fly and run till it hurts
Sleep for a while and speak no words in Australia
In Australia

Manic Street Preachers, Australia

I can hardly wait
I can hardly wait
I can hardly wait
I can hardly wait

It's been so long
I've lost my taste
Say angel come
Say lick my face
Let fall your dress
I'll play the part
I'll open this mouth wide
Eat your heart

I can hardly wait
I can hardly wait
I can hardly wait
I can hardly wait

Lips cracked dry
Tongue blue burst
Say angel come
Say lick my thirst
It's been so long
I've lost my taste
Here RomeoM
ake my water's break

In my glass coffin
I'm waiting
In my glass coffin
I'm waiting

P.J.Harvey, I Can Hardly Wait

"-¿No?
--No. No es tu culpa.
--No es tu culpa, eso es lo único que escucho, no es tu culpa, es una enfermedad, no es tu culpa. Ya sé que no es mi culpa. Me lo decís tanto que estoy empezando a pensar que sí es mi culpa.
--No es tu culpa.
--YA LO SE.
--Pero lo permitís.
(Silencio)
--¿O no?
--No hay droga sobre la tierra que pueda darle sentido a la vida.
--Vos sos la que permite este estado de desesperación absurda.
(Silencio)
--Sos vos quien lo permite.
(Silencio)
--No voy a ser capaz de pensar. No voy a ser capaz de trabajar.
--Nada va a interferir tanto con tu trabajo como el suicidio.
(Silencio)
--Soñé que iba al doctor y me daba ocho minutos de vida. Y había estado sentada en la puta sala de espera como media hora.
(Un largo silencio)
--Está bien, hagámoslo, hagámoslo con las drogas, hagamos la lobotomía química, bajémosle la cortina a las funciones más elevadas de mi cerebro y a lo mejor voy a ser un poquito más capaz de vivir. Hagámoslo"

Sarah Kane, 4.48 Psicosis
Pic by Esther G.

No necesito nada más que esta lapicera
prestada por el mozo
ni otro sobre de azúcar para el café
bramando en la resaca
tampoco el pago de una cerveza octava.

Guardo intacto
el coraje de hacer un paga Dios
como en los setenta
por las farmacias de turno
cuando la poesía anfetamínica
se compraba sin receta.

Viajo solo en medio de la huelga
entre panzas vacías
con razón vociferantes
y ningún encontronazo
junto al musculoso estibador
mientras dura la espera
en la protesta augusta
que hasta cortó la calle
con su semáforo
chorreando lágrimas de sangre.

Masacre sin piedad
para los mustios habitantes
de bairestremens.com.
Mientras leo en cerebros
de los otros viajeros.
Ese, de anteojos negros,
va a llegar tardísimo a su cita
con el andrólogo.
El que viaja a su lado
sólo piensa en robar
la corona de oro de la Virgen del Once
pero también
el busto de bronce de algún prócer
para revenderlo
enseguida
a peso plomo,vapuleo.

Así nace esta queja
sobre mi cuaderno Avon
en pleno verano
cuando el hospital de poetas
parece aniquilado
aunque nunca existiera la cura
de sus males
ni siquiera un cuarto gratis y fresco
donde no morir de pie.

Ahora,
destrabada la marcha
con las vitrinas de El Molino
destrozadas a huevazos
es cuando el maldito patrullero
se sube a la vereda
y como a la estatua de Santa Claus
me alumbran
entre dátiles
aunque igual nada vieron.
Mayor fue el miedo
de volverte invisible.

A distraerse ahora
con tu milonga hacia la autopista
Tacos de punta baratos hundidos en la brea
hirviendo aún más que el cuerpo
del que paga
y al finalizar la faena
regresar leyendo esos versos abyectos que has escrito.

Soy el que cree en la avenida Corrientes
acunadora del tango y de Tanguito
que se incendia en el río
justo cerca de la Casa Rosada
ese postre fucsia envenenado
en los cachetes.

Confundo palomas con empleados
de oficina
usan la misma gris corbata
que les impide el vuelo.
Soy quien cantara a Safo
además de encerar los dedos
de la hidra de Lesbos
con ungüentos de acero
pero ahora
ni consigo colarmee
n los recitales de Gal, Chavela
o La Felipe.

Igual
como siempre
el buen clima regresa
tras la huelga a lo lejos
cada vez más ajena.
A causa de ella
me pasé de parada

pero sigo escribiendo.

preferible el asco bien narrado
a la culpa de sobrevivir triunfales.
Sin tener cómo,dónde,cuándo
a quién decirlo.

Fernando Noy, Peso Plomo

"Sí", pensó. "Entre la pena y la nada, elijo la pena."

William Faulkner, Las palmeras salvajes

"--Todo está hecho y terminado, Holly, y ahora en el pasado. Debes guardar las imágenes y los olores y los sonidos en el estante de más atrás del cerebro.
--¿Cómo puedo hacer eso?
Le doy la explicación de cómo pensar en el cerebro como algo que vive dentro de una gran habitación con muchos armarios y estantes y cajas. Y el trabajo consiste en seleccionar una caja, o un estante, de un rincón alejado, para mantener en él todos los recuerdos desagradables. Luego le cuelgas una etiqueta, la de las cosas pasadas, y sólo lo abres cuando quieres. "

Kitty Fitzgerald, Pigtopia
Art bt Laurie Lipton

"Pero cuando se trata de la vida, ¿quién nos ampara? Pues cada uno es cada uno. Y cada vida tiene que ser amparada por esa propia vida de cada uno. Cada uno de nosotros: es con lo que contamos. Como doña María Rita siempre fue una persona común, le parecía que morir no era una cosa normal. Morir era sorprendente. Hablaba y hasta pensaba en la muerte, pero en el fondo era escéptica e incrédula. Pensaba que se moría cuando ocurría un accidente o alguien mataba a alguien. La vieja tenía poca experiencia. A veces tenía taquicardia: bacanal del corazón. Pero sólo eso, y le sucedía desde joven. En su primer beso, por ejemplo, el corazón se desgobernó. Y fue una cosa buena, en el límite con lo malo. Algo que recordaba de su pasado, no como hechos sino como vida: una sensación de vegetación en sombra, hierbas, samambayas, culandrillos, frescor verde. Cuando sentía eso otra vez, sonreía".

Clarice Lispector, La partida del tren

Vivir Sola

Aunque por odiosa casualidad hallara un pelo sobre mi pan con miel, de todos modos se trataría de mi propio pelo.

Katherine Mansfield, Diario

"El insomnio es la única forma de heroísmo compatible con la cama"

E.M. Cioran, Silogismos de la amargura

There was a girl who flew the world from a lonely shore
Through southern snow to Heathrow to understand the law
There was a boy who loved the noise of the underground
He left the coast and overdosed on that London sound

He said,"I don't care if you're black or blue,
me and the stars stay up for you
I don't care who's wrong or right
and I don't care for the U.K. tonight so stay, stay"

And then one day she moved away from those garden walls
She left some flowers, he smoked for hours
She understood the law

Suede, Black or Blue

I, having loved ever since I was a child a few things, never having
wavered
In these affections; never through shyness in the houses of the
rich or in the presence of clergymen having denied these
loves;
Never when worked upon by cynics like chiropractors having
grunted or clicked a vertebra to the discredit of those loves;
Never when anxious to land a job having diminished them by a
conniving smile; or when befuddled by drink
Jeered at them through heartache or lazily fondled the fingers of
their alert enemies; declare

That I shall love you always.
No matter what party is in power;
No matter what temporarily expedient combination of allied
interests wins the war;
Shall love you always.


Edna St. Vincent Millay, Modern Declaration

"Don't you know it babe
I'm only half a body
Without your embrace"

Shakira, Your Embrace

art by hasama

Oh the werewolf, oh the werewolf
Comes stepping along
He don’t even break the branches where he’s gone
Once I saw him in the moonlight, when the bats were a flying
I saw the werewolf, and the werewolf was crying

Cryin’ nobody knows, nobody knows, body knows
How I loved the man, as I teared off his clothes
Cryin’ nobody know, nobody knows my pain
When I see that it’s risen; that fool moon again

For the werewolf, for the werewolf has sympathy
For the werewolf, somebody like you and me.
And only he goes to me, man this little flute I play
All through the night, until the light of day, and we are doomed to play

For the werewolf, for the werewolf, has sympathy
For the werewolf, somebody like you and me

Cat Power's cover of The Werewolf Song by Michael Hurley

More here: http://www.showstudio.com/project/dontbothertoknock/15218/16454

Uninvited, the thought of you stayed too late in my head,
so I went to bed, dreaming you hard, hard, woke with your name,
like tears, soft, salt, on my lips, the sound of its bright syllables
like a charm, like a spell.

Falling in love
is glamorous hell; the crouched, parched heart
like a tiger ready to kill; a flame's fierce licks under the skin.
Into my life, larger than life, beautiful, you strolled in.
hid in my ordinary days, in the long grass of routine,
in my camouflage rooms. You sprawled in my gaze,
staring back from anyone's face, from the shape of a cloud,
from the pining, earth-struck moon which gapes at me

and I open the bedroom door. The curtains stir. There you are
on the bed, like a gift, like a touchable dream.

Carol Ann Duffy, You

That crazed girl improvising her music.
Her poetry, dancing upon the shore,
Her soul in division from itself
Climbing, falling She knew not where,
Hiding amid the cargo of a steamship,
Her knee-cap broken, that girl I declare
A beautiful lofty thing, or a thing
Heroically lost, heroically found.

No matter what disaster occurred
She stood in desperate music wound,
Wound, wound, and she made in her triumph
Where the bales and the baskets lay
No common intelligible sound
But sang, ‘O sea-starved, hungry sea.’

W.B.Yeats, A Crazed Girl

"My brief stay at the hospital had already convinced me that the medical profession was an open door to anyone nursing a grudge against the human race"

J.G. Ballard, Crash

I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself comming

"Lucy was frightened, frightened near to death. Her voice choked, she could not breathe, her limbs went numb. This is not happening, she said to herself as the men forced her down; it is just a dream, a nightmare. While the men, for their part, drank up her fear, revelled in it, did all they could to hurt her, to menace her, to heighten her terror. Call your dogs! they said to her. Go on, call your dogs! No dogs? Then let us show you dogs!
You don't understand, you weren't there, says Bev Shaw. Well, she is mistaken. Lucy's intuition is right after all: he does understand; he can, if he concentrates, if he loses himself, be there, be the men, inhabit them, fill them with the ghost of himself. The question is, does he have it in him to be the woman?".